Book Review: "Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox" by Eoin Colfer

SPOIL-FREE SUMMARY

When a loved one falls ill, Artemis has to travel back in time to prevent his younger self from destroying the one thing that can cure that person. But he doesn't just have to deal with his younger self but a crazy man set on killing animals.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Artemis is still the same character and doesn't seem to be developing. He is constantly apologizing for past sins.

Holly's character does develop slightly, as we learn about her mother. And how she died, and how she developed a hatred for humans. Oddly, this is never revealed to Artemis. This could have easily developed their relationship.

Butler doesn't travel back in time with Artemis and Holly, so there is mostly the past Butler. He is reluctant to follow all of younger Artemis' orders. But the most he does is offer advice, he never parents his charge.

Younger Artemis is annoying and selfish, to contrast the newer Artemis.

Kronski is our villain, a nutty man who hates animals for some reason.

THE EXTINCTIONISTS

Colfer crosses over into cartoony territory, I am afraid. No one who poaches endangered species does it for any noble cause, they do it for money. And the fact that Colfer expects us to believe someone so stupid as to have these beliefs would actually exist is laughable.

I don't know why he wouldn't see this, as he has demonized businessmen in the past for their love of profit above all else. Not that that didn't often come off as cartoonish as well, but it was more believable then this.

It's sad, because this could have easily been avoided. Poachers are real, so why not portray them as they are?

ANOTHER DECEIT-SPOILERS

Artemis tells a great lie to Holly and eventually has to reveal it to her. It wasn't believable. Artemis still feels like he can't trust Holly to break rules for him? Not after all they have been through?

I have read five Artemis Fowl books and already dealt with the major flaws in Artemis' character. Perhaps since the lie is so big, Colfer thought the reader wouldn't remember, we've been down a similar road already.

In the “The Eternity Code” when Arty lied about having to cut off Spiro's finger. It might have felt like nothing to me, but Colfer clearly thought it was the moral question of our time the way he made Holly go on about it in righteous indignation. Or when Arty lost his memory in “The Lost Colony” and demanded payment for his services.

We get it. Artemis has many moral failings.

There is one scene later, where Holly thinks she would have helped Arty, even if he had not lied to her. But then she doubts herself, perhaps realizing how self righteous she is. Unfortunately, she never tells Artemis he didn't have to lie. So this goes nowhere.

WHERE'S MINERVA?

It seems Colfer realized the drastic mistake he made when he wrote Minerva in “The Lost Colony”. Because in this book, she isn't so much as acknowledged to exist. I am glad he responded to feedback, which I can only presume was largely negative. But even so, he should have written about her absence, after pushing her so strongly. She waited years for him to return, as Butler alluded to at the end of the last book.

Colfer could have easily mentioned the fact that Artemis and Minerva were far too alike to get alone, and if anything had developed into rivals, rather then friends or boyfriend and girlfriend. Oddly, he didn't even do that.

HOLLY & ARTY-SPOILERS

I can only conclude that after responding to the negative feedback about Minerva, Colfer realized what the fans wanted: Artemis and Holly to get together. Unfortunately, Artemis is a child, and Holly is an adult. So Colfer turns Holly into a child, to give the fans a taste of what they wanted. Without actually getting it. I think this was a little extreme, and might never have happened if he hadn't created Minerva and had such a strong reaction to her.

I for one, recognized that Holly was to be a mentor character to Artemis, not a love interest (if I read the whole series as a kid, I might have agreed with many of the other fans).

But there would be an obvious way to make it work. Have years pass, show Artemis as a young adult, and Holly still the same age. Have him catch up to her. He could have perhaps done this at the end of the series. So it was odd that he did this instead. Oddly, it kind of felt like fanfiction to me.

YOUNGER ARTEMIS

We seem to be exploring the same theme over and over again: Artemis is still evil. And since we can assume he has developed, we just have to face his younger, more evil self.

It is as if Colfer is running out of ideas and cannot think of ways to develop Artemis. Instead of allowing him to face problems where he chooses new behavior over his old behavior, he just keeps reminding the reader of Artemis' faults, and mankind's as well.

I wish we could explore more of the fairy world, because they would be far more interesting. I feel as though we have only skimmed the surface of their moral problems and their past.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?-SPOILERS

The main plot is that Arty killed an endangered lemur, making it extinct and it's the only thing that can save his mother. It sounds bad, but he doesn't kill it for fun; he doesn't even kill it. He catches it and sells it to someone who wishes to kill it. And Artemis does all of this, to fund a mission to rescue his missing father. If I had to make one species go extinct to save a parent, I would do it in a heartbeat. In fact, I would make multiple species go extinct if that was my only option. And I would only feel bad about it for minute. Because human lives are worth more than animals. It seems quite obvious to me, as I suspect it does to most people.

But when Artemis reveals this, Holly treats him as though he has announced he killed a person. Her reaction is comically out of proportion. Unfortunately, Colfer's tendency to make her self righteous is used once again.

Artemis was just a child, whose mother had gone nuts and whose father had never been close to him anyway. The fact that Holly had no sympathy for him was completely crazy.

HUMOR

There are some funny moments where Artemis notes how ridiculous his younger self sounds. But again, this kind of feels like fanfiction.

Artemis' little brothers were actually quite amusing and seeing him interact with them was entertaining.

CLIMAX

Back in the present, they have to face a different enemy than Kronski. There is twist and I can't say I wasn't taken aback at it. But I am starting to wish that Colfer was better at villains, and would create more instead of recycling the same one over and over again. Arty shows his ability to fly a plane, which is a different side of him, as well as risking his own life and revealing a small secret.

CONCLUSION

Colfer bends over backwards to please his fans and apologize for Minerva. But the romantic relationship feels like fanfiction and carries no weight, as Holly returns to her normal age in the end. Also, Artemis doesn't seem to be developing at all. We've fallen back into the same pattern: Artemis does something deceitful and Holly is shocked and self righteous. If you love Artemis Fowl, it's still worth reading though. I give “The Time Paradox” three stars.

Book Review: "Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony" by Eoin Colfer

SPOIL-FREE SUMMARY

Artemis is out to catch a new type of fairy folk, a demon. These creatures have been long gone, but he's found them. But someone else is out to do the same thing, and it's up to Artemis to outsmart them and rescue the demon. With Holly, Mulch and Foaly's help, of course.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Artemis does seem to have matured slightly. He reveals to Butler that after getting proof of demons returning, he plans to go to Foaly. It shows his concern for the Fairy people outweighs his self interest.

Holly left the LEP and is now a private investigator. But she feels like meaning is lacking in her life.

Mulch is now Holly's partner in business.

Foaly left his job but it still helpful to Holly in his new occupation.

Minerva is essentially a female version of Artemis. It's painfully obvious, just by her name. She is spoiled, entitled, and smarter then everyone. It feels like no thought went into her. From her blonde curls to her French roots. She is a demented Shirley temple.

N°1 is the name of the demon that crosses over into the world. He is nothing like the other demons, who enjoy violence, being loud, and detest learning and reading. He is actually quite charming, being rather random and silly on accident.

Leon Abbot is a demon, and N°1's teacher. He is one of the few villains in the story. I didn't really take him seriously but he was crucial to the plot.

PACING

We switch back and forth between perspectives in the book. From Artemis, Holly and N°1. Just like all the other books. Keeps the pacing decent.

A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN?-SPOILERS

It seems the whole goal of Minerva is for Artemis to face someone who he used to be. In fact, Artemis actually points it out. (And to give Arty a girlfriend as well.) But we already did this in “The Eternity Code” with Jon Spiro. And that was done far better then and with more subtly. And for the most part, he as was an okay villain. While Minerva comes across as more obnoxious than Artemis ever was.

The most painful thing is that I have been waiting for another character to appear in the books. Someone who would be a peer to Artemis; Someone who could earn his respect without being a super genius. Maybe someone who had talents that Artemis lacked but needed. It didn't even have to be a love interest. But Colfer seemed to want Artemis to get a love interest, face a younger version of himself, and find an intellectual equal all at once. It all felt far too lazy.

The whole thing felt forced, with Artemis drooling over her every second, calling her a genius, and feeling bad when he has to deceive her and steal back N°1. She was so annoying that Artemis should have felt happy to put her in her place. If anything, he might have to learn how to be sympathetic to an obvious brat. Instead, he babies her from the beginning. It prevents any character development and instead makes him act out of character.

ARTEMIS THE IDEA PLANTER

There is a scene where Artemis plants an idea in the villains' head, so he can plan a hostage exchange where he wants. But without the villain knowing. He does this by repeating the word “tie” in order to get the exchange in Taipei. I found the idea laughable and was stretching the bounds of my belief. In a book about fairy people, that's saying something.

SWITCHING VILLAINS-SPOILERS

For a portion of the book, Minerva is the villain, but this switches. I honestly think she should have stayed the main villain. She could have easily been in the strain of Opal. And I think it would better for Artemis to see what would have happened if he didn't change, or didn't continue to. This would have hit much closer to him, as compared to Jon Spiro, because Minerva is closer to his age and much more like him, being a child genius.

DEMONS ON HYBRAS

There has to be a good amount of cheese in every book. And besides Minerva, the demons have to be it. The fact that all are portrayed as unintelligent buffoons is a little annoying. But N°1 is charming enough for me to ignore the cringe-worthy aspects.

HOLLY & ARTY

Most of the books emphasize Arty's relationship with Holly. But not always in a good way. I have gotten tired of her lecturing him (sometimes about dumb things). Luckily, there is not much of that in this book. Instead we are get a moment where Artemis admits that without the LEP in his life, he is bored. Holly feels the same. They both share a sense of restless and lack of purpose.

By the end of the book, it feels as though they are permanently bound to one another for reasons that will seem obvious to the reader.

BILLY KONG-SPOILERS

One of Minerva's henchmen is rather screwed up. Turns out in his childhood, his brother told him about stories about demons, saying they were out to get him. Then he went out and got killed. So Billy has been haunted by this his entire life. It sounds completely pathetic, so I couldn't help but feel bad for him. So when Holly takes advantage of him, telling him she is one of those monsters, she came across as heartless. I think it was supposed to be funny, but I just thought it was tasteless. I didn't think it was amusing to see a pathetic man have his deluded fears realized.

HUMOR

There is the usual humor. I found the scene where Foaly hacks the cameras to be rather hilarious. Especially since Minerva was so annoying. But a scene where she saw the security camera's would have been perfect.

Doodah Day having to masquerade as a little boy was funny too. And N°1 had more then a few great jokes, like when he says he doesn't think that Minerva is pretty.

WHAT IF?

I think it would have been better if the main villain had been Minerva or Leon Abbot. I could easily see making Billy Kong an ally, with his belief in demons. Perhaps learning that they are real, but not evil, and instead allies. Maybe learning this through being healed and eventually turning on Minerva. This could have made Holly look sympathetic, instead of cruel. Maybe add another ally into the story.

CLIMAX-SPOILERS

Artemis and Holly have to get rid of a bomb that they don't have time to dismantle. It nice to see Artemis do something physical and have to push himself. They end up on Hybras with the demons and Artemis has to push himself again, this time to do something he struggles with. I thought it was sweet how he never wanted Holly to know what he did for her.

And the use of time travel wasn't confusing but simple. It made sense and Colfer didn't seem to be trying to create a gimmick that made no sense, like so many stories having to do with time travel happen to do. I'm looking at you, Kerr.

CONCLUSION

All the main characters are still likable and funny. N°1 is a welcome addition, but Minerva is a poor substitute for a peer that Artemis needs. She ruins every scene she is in. The pacing is good and I thought the climax was shocking. Artemis and Holly feel bonded for life afterwards. I give “The Lost Colony” three and half stars.

Book Review: "Artemis Fowl and the Opal Deception" by Eoin Colfer

SPOIL-FREE SUMMARY

After a friend is killed and Holly is blamed, she goes on the run. Knowing Artemis to be in danger, she tries to get to him in time to save him. But this Artemis doesn't remember there past three adventures. Together, the two have to outsmart a villain bent on revenge.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Artemis Fowl has reverted to who he was before he met Holly. As such, his morals are lacking. But as he regains them, its interesting to see him in the position of a pupil to Holly. The dynamic of their relationship has changed. It's even revealed that he feels terror and is shaking when he realizes the danger he is in. Quite different then the boy we have known.

Butler is in the first portion of the story. But after he is injured, he doesn't reappear until later. He is in less then half of the story but is crucial to the plot.

Holly Short takes on the role of a teacher, as Artemis is ignorant of “The People”. It's interesting to see her as the on giving orders while Artemis is an obedient pupil.

Mulch Diggums returns once he learns about Holly being in trouble. It was nice to see him go to her aid simply because he was worried about her. And he does more then get Butler to help him, as he is the main reason Holly and Artemis get rescued.

Foaly is the only one in Haven who doesn't believe that Holly killed anyone. He is crucial in finding out the truth about Opal and Holly.

Opal Koboi is still rather cartoony. I often have a hard time taking her seriously. She is still Colfer's bad comic element. And I honestly wish she hadn't been the one to kill a certain character.

PACING

The first portion of the story goes between Holly and Artemis' perspectives. Holly's end has more action while Artemis, on the other hand, is merely planning to do something. There is also Opal's perspective. Not to mention Butler's and Mulch's. This keeps the entire story well paced.

ACTION

One of my favorite scenes in the story is with Butler and a mattress. Definitely one of the most original, if not crazy things I have read. I also loved the idea of being at an abandoned amusement park.

I BELIEVE YOU-SPOILERS

When Holly finds Artemis she tells him the whole story, and he declares he believes her because it's the only thing that makes sense, and she knew about the contact lenses. I kind of wished he was more skeptical, and simply had to learn to have faith in Holly. He says he can only think of conspiracy theories to explain things, but doesn't a group of people secretly hidden underground sound like a conspiracy as well?

PAY UP-SPOILERS

In order to show that Artemis needs Holly in his life to mature, this Artemis demands payment for his services. I suppose it was necessary, but it came across as cheesy. Especially when Artemis says humans are business minded, while fairies are emotional. Its obvious that humans are very emotional, and someone as smart as Artemis should have known that. It seems to be trying to paint those with emotions as heroes, and those who support profit to be evil. All very simplistic, especially when emotions are not logic, and are certainly not truth.

HOLLY IN CHARGE

For the most part, Holly calls the shots in this story. But she isn't as overbearing as she might have been. Although she takes a shot or two at mud men, for the most part she is focused on saving her and Artemis. All in all, I found her much more likable then in the last book.

Artemis isn't completely useless though, which is good. As he might easily become annoying. He helps in multiple ways, and in the end, it's his ideas that save them.

HINTS OF THE PAST-SPOILERS

There are hints that Artemis remembers the past. He seems to be changing, developing a conscience. Ever since he found mirrored contact lenses in his eyes. Another hint is when he sees a painting of a fairy and realizes a fairy cannot go inside any building without an invitation. Not to mention Butler feels older than his years.

CLIMAX

After Artemis gets his memories back, we finally learn what Opal as in mind. This has been a mystery throughout the story, and it's finally revealed. She has more in mind then revenge on Holly and Artemis. And although it was rather silly how Opal was goaded intro trouble, it was still interesting. On a whole, I found the humor in this story less annoying, and found the end scene with Opal rather amusing.

CONCLUSION

Colfer creates another valuable entry into the Artemis Fowl Series. Each character plays a crucial role and there is plenty of action. Not to mention the usual humor minus the sometimes childlike humor we have seen in the past. We get to see Holly and Artemis play slightly different roles which is good, as there are no vast characters developments in this story. Well worth reading if you are a fan of the series. I give “The Opal Deception” four stars.

Book Review: "Artemis Fowl and The Eternity Code" by Eoin Colfer

SPOIL-FREE SUMMARY

When Artemis Fowl accidentally puts “The People” in danger, he seeks out Holly and Root. Together they have to outsmart an unscrupulous businessman.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Artemis Fowl is in the position of undoing damage he has potentially caused. As such, it is another view of his character. An apologetic and slightly more humble one. He recognizes he made a mistake and is perhaps realizing that he may seriously need to change as well as win back Holly. There is also the aspect of his father and their relationship. How it was and how it is changing. It was rather insightful to finally learn of Artemis' past.

Butler isn't in most of the story. But through events it is revealed how important he is to Artemis, so their relationship does develop in that sense. Also, when he reappears, it's quite obvious how much he cares about his little sister when he takes her aside to warn her about the danger.

Holly Short is furious at Artemis for putting the People at risk. But it's hard to side with her when she becomes self-righteous.

Mulch Diggums accidentally ends up getting involved with Artemis again. He is his usual entertaining self. He plays an essential role to the plot, and for once, isn't coerced into doing things. He chooses to help out of the kindness of his heart. Sort of.

Juliet Butler comes along to help Artemis. We learn about her character for the first time. She is nothing like her calm, stoic older brother and often compares herself to him. She has a more obvious sense of humor and is more emotional. She has yet to become an official body guard.

Jon Spiro is our villain. He is annoying enough to make you despise him, but he is a good character to check Artemis' arrogance. In some ways, he is a more blunt, more emotional version of Artemis. Holly even makes this comparison. Not that he isn't two dimensional. He is. There is essentially nothing about him that makes him feel human. No family. No pets. Nothing good. He is in every way, an evil, greedy capitalist stereotype.

PACING

Just like the last two books, the perspective shifts between various characters. We have Holly's perspective, Artemis', Juliets, Butlers, Mulch, ect. We even have some flashback scenes with Artemis and his father.

ARTEMIS AND BUTLER

Butler is injured early on in the book, so he isn't in it all that much. But in the scene where he is hurt, Artemis cries and realizes he never expected to be without him. I thought it was sweet and probably the most that has been revealed of his feelings for his bodyguard.

HOLLY & JULIET

There is one scene between Juliet and Holly where they argue. Juliet says she is nothing like her brother and Holly says maybe she shouldn't be in this line of work. But Juliet replies having fun is how she deals with things and didn't she used to be like her? It's really the only meaningful interaction between these two. Juliet reveals her insecurity and Holly reveals her own hypocrisy.

SAME OLD ARTEMIS

You would think having a fairy kidnapping go horribly wrong would have been enough to humble Artemis. And although he did show some development in “The Arctic Incident” he seems to have reverted back to his selfish ways. But Artemis has never seriously addressed the need to change. Throughout the story, flashbacks to his father reveal he has been wondering if he can.

ARTEMIS AND SON-SPOILERS

Throughout the story there are flashbacks where Artemis recalls events with his newly returned father. He notes that his father seems to have changed. He is more humorous, and wants to change his crooked ways. Not just for his wife, but for his son too. Artemis can't believe it and he wonders if they could ever be a normal family. Surely he could never be a normal boy.

This is the first time that we have dived into their relationship and how Artemis' childhood was like. Even though his father was often cold to him, it was his worshiping of money that Artemis took away. Perhaps he was merely trying a please a man he hoped would return.

It's also revealed that Artemis senior wasn't known for his charm and got his way through his gruff exterior. It explains how Artemis has never learned how to feign charm and manipulate people. He never witnessed such behavior and assumed power was all you needed to persuade someone.

TRUST ME-SPOILERS

There is a scene in the story where it is obvious that Artemis is lying to Holly. It's revealed he did so because he knew that she would refuse to do what was necessary later on. Turns out she has to cut off a finger.

I actually sided with Arty on this one. It's just a finger and they are putting it back on. It's not as though they were taking a life or even causing him harm. Sometimes Holly can come off as self righteous and unrealistic. That's a small part of her character that can make her rather obnoxious. Instead of realizing Artemis is trying to change, albeit poorly, she instead rants in her head that magic isn't supposed to be used that way. What way? The way that saves The People from being discovered?

It was obvious Colfer intended for us to side with Holly and bemoan Arty's lack of morals. I didn't bemoan them. I bemoaned his lack of trust in Holly. But apparently she didn't deserve it. I wanted there to be something that Holly could learn from Artemis (even with all of his faults).

HOLLY

Is Holly so unbearable that she ruins the book? No. She just has a few more moments of Mud man hating then the last time. I think her acting in such a way was to add drama and make Artemis realize he needs to change. But I felt it was unnecessary, as it was obvious through the flashbacks with Artemis' father that he already wanted to change. And since Artemis never reveals this to Holly, Colfer must have thought his main character needed to show Holly that he had to change. Unfortunately, like I stated previously, it just didn't work. If he had obviously been in the wrong, it might have.

And its to be noted that Holly does feel differently about him later on. It's just that she never seems to address why she may have been wrong. So her character seems lacking in development.

ANOTHER LAME VILLAIN?

Is Spiro as bad as Opal? No. There may be a few cringe worthy lines, but they are limited. (For example when he says he misses the days when you could just throw someone out of a window. Because we all know, if you're wealthy and powerful, no one cared if you murdered someone for all to see.) And it's oddly satisfying to see Artemis get made a fool by a man so much like him in many ways. But while Arty has his family and the fairy world to humble and humanize him, Spiro has nothing. And that's a big flaw.

Oddly enough, it's the same as “The Arctic Incident”. Spiro's just not in the story enough to ruin it.

FORESHADOWING-SPOILERS

Artemis is given a contact lens that's a camera but it doesn't match his other eye. So he has one hazel eye and one blue. He worries that Spiro will notice.

The previously mentioned moment is when Artemis looks guilty for a moment and Holly notices. She asks is there is something wrong and he denies it.

Lastly, Artemis seems to be examining the back of Spiro's ears and says “interesting”.

The last two we get pay-off of. But Spiro never notices Arty's eyes until the last second when it's too late. His reaction was amusing as was Artemis' response to it. But it was odd that he never noticed until then.

CLIMAX

The climax was done rather cleverly, albeit a little silly. The voice of the cube was funny but what I didn't quite feel sure if I liked was that Spiro never notices the contact lens before it was too late. I don't understand why he wouldn't have seen it. Was it overly dark? Did Artemis hide his face? It's never clarified. The reason for the contact might have been a silly one, which I will discuss another time.

CONCLUSION

The main characters are still charming and have many meaningful relationships with each other (with only a few bad moments for Holly). The pacing is good and there is plenty of action. There is also moments of insight into Artemis' character with both Butler and his father. Although I have my issues, there are kind of the same ones I have had previously, and if anything, have lessened slightly. I give “The Eternity Code” four stars.