Monday, June 7, 2021

Book Review: "The Princetta" by Anne-Laure Bondoux

SPOIL-FREE SUMMARY

After being humiliated by her father the King, Malva decides she will run away from home and be free. So with the help of her maid and teacher, she does just that. But things keep going wrong and Malva finds herself facing danger on all sides. Luckily there is a young man named Orpheus who is on a ship sent to save her.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Malva is a princess who is rather naive and stubborn. She dreads the idea of marriage and dreams of freedom without any hardships.

Philomena is Malva's maid and only close friend. She is much more practical and realizes the possible dangers that her princess could face. She would risk her life for her friend and is crucial to the plot.

Orpheus is a young man who has dreamed of sailing his own life. When he finally gets the chance he is thrilled to prove himself.

Lei is a young woman who has skills in healing. She latches onto Malva right away and is crucial to the princess' safety. As well as Orpheus.

Hob and Peppe are twins who sneak onto Orpheus' ship. The are rather excitable and naive.

PACING

The story goes back in forth between two characters, Malva and Orpheus. The story starts slightly slow, but it soon picks up. We get action then recovery, then finally when things seem to calm down, we get more action. This was definitely the strong part of the first half of the story.

FATHER ISSUES-SPOILERS

When we first meet Orpheus, he is being told by his dying father that he has lied to him his whole life. Turns out he doesn't have an illness that would make it impossible to go to sea (sounded kinda fishy anyway, no pun intended). And the reason for this lie was because if Orpheus went to see he would learn that his father was a pirate and not an honorable man.

But it's revealed before this that Orpheus loves the ocean and spends time at the docks. He didn't seem shy and I don't think it would be presumptuous to assume he would make friends. So couldn't he have learned the truth anyway? It felt kind of silly.

Did he really need to hate his dying father? Couldn't he have been a rookie sailor who simply ended up being on the crew that looked for Malva? He could still easily have had an arc. After all, he needn't have been a captain who had already proved himself in bravery and skills.

Perhaps the author thought he needed this added drama to be more interesting, but he never has to overcome his hatred of his father and it seemed little to motivate him on his quest to save Malva.

THE BRIGHT SIDE

I thought it was a little odd that Malva was so positive. After all, she has never worked a day in her her life and suddenly she is constantly working and walking. And instead of being overwhelmed and having to adjust, she is overly happy.

I wanted her to question herself. To wonder if she knew what she was doing but she seemed so naive. I kept waiting for that naivete to be squashed. But even nearly dying in a shipwreck and a storm didn't cause her hesitation.

FATHER LIKE SON?

After Orpheus helps rescue Malva, the captain says something about knowing who his father was. I thought it was a stretch for him to assume that Orpheus would be a criminal because his dad was. He didn't have more than one conversation with him and yet he was dumb enough to think he would just go along with his evil plans?

AN UNGRATEFUL GIRL

After being rescued from torture and death, Malva's first reaction isn't gratitude. She has no time for that. Because she learns that she is being taken home.

I wish there had been a gap between the time this information was given and when she learned that she had been rescued. Some gratitude would have become her. Maybe even some wondering if it was better to be alive and married to a stranger than dead.

ALL THE ARCHONT'S FAULT?-SPOILERS

Malva is helped by Philomena and her teacher. Turns out he has taught her a lot about the outside world. So when things go south, she immediately blamed him.

I thought this was a stretch. I mean, was all of this information a big secret? Was she forbidden to learn about how the world worked? As a future queen, wouldn't it be in her education to learn not just about her own country, but others?

She recalls him telling her that she will have to marry soon, and says its unfortunate that someone as independent and young as her will have to marry an old man. Such thinking should have been foreign to everyone, as young girls often married older men because older men can still have children, but older woman cannot. It's merely a fact of biology and no doubt Malva had known her entire life she would have her marriage arranged.

And yet she acts as though its unthinkable. I also thought it odd how she said all her freedoms would go away (no doubt her life would change) and she wouldn't be able to read. Why exactly would she be prevented from reading? Obviously she would have more important duties, but to say that she would never have any free time and actually be forbidden to read sounded crazy.

TRAPPED BEFORE A BEAST

Malva ends up slipping her breakfast rolls into her pocket and it later saves her from a monster. I thought it was odd that she didn't eat her breakfast and thought she should have been portrayed as always doing this or having a specific reason for doing so.

Instead it just came across as really, really lucky. Which is unfortunate, because so far Malva has been completely taken care of by others. First Philomena, then Lei. She finally saves herself and its not by any real effort, but by sheer chance.

THE ARCHIPELAGO

The problem with the archipelago is that it feels like it's tossed in from nowhere. Even the characters seem taken aback, admitting never hearing of such a place, not even in legends.

There is some guardian named Catabea who rules the area and shows up proclaiming the rules and giving the two choices, to try to escape and face punishment if they fail, or just stay in the islands for the rest of their lives.

I think the place was added to make Malva's dream of Elgolia a reality. But it's connection to the archipelago seems tenuous at best.

THE TESTS-SPOILERS

Each character has to go through a so-called test.

Orpheus gets a replacement for his dead father and has to give him up. But it was all a spell and the guy was crazy, so I don't think Orpheus was giving much up.

Lei has to try and heal a whole population on an island.

The cook has to give up a fish which apparently he wanted to prove was real. In the end, Orpheus has to step up and let the man get himself killed or he would get everyone else killed as well.

The twins...are kind of confused. I will explain later. I will also explain Malva's test in her own area.

BABILAS EXPLAINED-SPOILERS

One of the sailors in the story is named Babilas. He is very strong and responsible for saving Malva. Because he is mute we don't really get to know him or his motivation. It isn't until one scene where he starts crying that he writes down his past and Malva tells us.

We learn about a past romance that ended tragically (kind of out of the blue and shoved in) and that is all we know about Babilas. I didn't really feel anything about his past because it was so detached.

I went want from knowing nothing to knowing something dramatic and personal. And yet I never got to know this character at all. It's like, okay, we're done now, you don't need to know anything else and this makes up for before.

ELGOLIA-SPOILERS

Malva's test ends up being her dream, the mythical land she was told about. But she is there all alone and gets to see the world going to hell without her. So she gives it up and goes back to the ship.

But the thing is, I don't feel like this really developed her. I mean, who would want to live all alone on an island, even if it was gorgeous and you would be safe there, with food and shelter at your disposal?

The place has some kind of magic so Malva is seen as strong when she overcomes it. It just never really felt like an option to stay there.

MALVA & ORPHEUS

My first sign that the story was going downhill was when the romantic relationship became apparent. They don't gradually get to know one another and learn to get along. For the most part, they just notice each others physical attractiveness.

Their only conflict is when Malva refuses to go home and is not grateful for being rescued from death. Also when Orpheus is under a spell. But other than that, it's Orpheus thinking that Malva is amazing and deserves to be happy (even though he hasn't seen her do anything but be rescued and burn some flutes).

A FORTUNE TELLER-SPOILERS

Turns out there was a reason the twins snuck aboard the ship. A fortune teller told them they would marry the princess. They just never thought about how they would both marry the princess...because apparently they are idiots.

TWO DEATHS-SPOILERS

I have certain rules about deaths of characters in story.

First rule, the death must make me feel something. Shock. Sadness. Anything. But preferably sadness (I admit I don't much care for shock for the sake of it, and it seems to be rarely used well, as in making a point).

I also can't stand the deaths of animals and children. If they must happen, I don't care for them described in detail (again, I don't like things done for shock value, I think its distasteful).

Second rule, the death must serve a purpose. As in, someone dies for another; something important is learned by the death (like how to escape from a danger).

Third rule, the death makes sense.

Unfortunately, I felt nothing for any of the deaths in the story. I never felt they were necessary or added anything to the story either. The cook dying was a character that was basically just in the background so I didn't care that he died. Orhpeus' dog dies...I guess he needed a test too? Or maybe he was just protecting them. I don't really know.

As for the third rule...

AN INEXPLICABLE DEATH-SPOILERS

The immuration (the punishment they were threatened with if they failed) shows up when time has run out. It's a giant hole or vortex or something.

Anyway, the twins blame themselves and Peppe jumps in and kills himself (I thought it was a place of punishment, but maybe the punishment was death?).

This was so inexplicably stupid that for a moment I didn't even realize what had happened. What was the logic behind this? How could Peppe have known that throwing himself in would have saved the others? There wasn't any deal made nor anything explained beforehand that would give him the idea that him dying would save the others.

It seems as though the author realized she had no idea how everyone would escape the archipelago so she threw this in last minute, but forget to go back and write in an explanation or a hint that such a sacrifice could save them, even if they ran out of time.

AWKWARD WRITING

There is a scene where Orpheus gets stabbed. It's portrayed as quite dramatic, but only the reader sees it. Then we zoom away to another activity and I was left confused.

I had just been told of a dramatic event only to go away to another activity, in the same scene. Not a cliffhanger ending and a switch of scenes. The same scene.

I had to wait for a shocked reaction from Malva and the moment was lost.

If no one saw it, as it's written right after, then we should have seen the whole scene from Malva's perspective. Instead of being omniscient and suddenly switching to Malva's limited perspective.

CLIMAX

Only the twins haven't been tested, but time is up and the immuration shows up. They manage to get saved and Malva returns home.

TIME PASSAGES-SPOILERS

When Malva finally returns home it seems a decade has passed, even though for her it was only months. I wasn't quite sure why this was necessary. It hardly seems long enough for the city to decay.

But everything fell to pieces when she left and this way her father had a long time to realize his mistake. Not that he wasn't a jerk (he was) but he truly looked like a broken man and this seemed like overkill. I felt worse for him than I ever did for Malva. He seemed so pathetic.

IT WONT END-SPOILERS

After the climax, the story goes on for way too long. A short epilogue should have been all that was necessary, if at all. Orpheus gets to see his old maid again, who saved all of his money (even though its been a decade). So he gets to be rich, but never really forgive his father.

Malva learns her mother died and her father gets to tell her she was right to run away and did nothing wrong. It's all his fault.

It's easy to forgive someone for abusing you when they not only admit they were wrong, but they basically lose everything and everyone and clearly are a broken person.

WHO NEEDS 'EM?-SPOILERS

The Archont returns, having mysteriously escaped after conveniently hobbling off, dying, but not quite dead.

I think the only reason was so that Orpheus could die. Why, you ask, when it was so obvious that he and Malva were madly in love? I was thrown for a loop. Surely I wasn't forced to read a poorly written romance for half the book just to kill one of the lovers off?

Not to worry, Malva perseveres. Time passes. Her people love her, calling her kind and wise. They say she doesn't need a king.

It's not as if a Queen has never married (Queen Elizabeth, anyone?) But for the most part, they do. It's just a fact of monarchy. You need an heir and an alliance with another country.

It was as if the author changed her mind at the last minute and decided that in order for Malva to develop fully, she must not depend on anyone. So Orpheus had to go.

I was left confused and angry. I would have rather had an overly sappy, happy ending. At least that would have been consistent with the story.

THE PROBLEM WITH MALVA

Malva never develops in any meaningful way. She never has to admit she was foolish to run away nor does she have to do anything she didn't want to do before. She gets to be independent and do what she wants, just as a Queen.

Saying no to staying alone on a pretty island is not character development. Going home after running away would have been, if she actually had to do something she previously had not wanted to.

But she never had anything against being a queen, just giving up the freedoms of her childhood. And she never gives up anything as far as we see. She just becomes a great Queen, who happens to be great because now she can do whatever she wants without anyone telling her what to do.

CONCLUSION

Malva & Orpheus start off likable and sympathetic (if a little bit two-dimensional). And the pacing is good in the first half of the story full of storms, shipwrecks, fighting nomads, slavery and a giant monster.

Unfortunately the second half of the story eventually descends into mediocrity. Malva and Orpheus have a shallow love affair where they worship one another and never have an actual relationship.

All the side characters are cardboard and never fleshed out except in a rushed attempt.

The lore of the archipelago seems like it came out of nowhere and never really feels like it belongs in the story.

The ending lasts way too long, wrapping up things that I didn't care about. I would have liked to pretend the story ended after they escaped the archipelago and Malva told Orpheus she was growing up and going home. I could have imagined the rest.

I give “The Princetta” one and half stars.

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