SPOIL-FREE SUMMARY
Hansel and Gretal are royalty born in the Kingdom of Grimm. But after a series of traumatic events, they decide to leave their lives behind and find a new family. But this is harder than it seems as the twins run into problem after problem and struggle to trust anyone.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Hansel and Gretal are well intentioned but sometimes naive. Their main itnention of the story is to get a new family. I am not sure if they really have an arc. Both become brave and take risks (I am assuming they were not brave before). Both admit they were wrong about some things (although we don't know exactly why or how Hansel made one major mistake). But they don't ever admit they should not have run away. Or that they should have forgave their parents.
Johannes is the servant to the King and Queen. He is loved and introduced at the very start of the story. He also makes a return near the end.
PACING
The beginning is kind of slow, mainly when three crows get involved and start talking. But the story kicks off right after that. And from then it's one bad event after another. Because of that, I would say it's well paced. Although near the end it slows down a bit to wait for Hansel and Gretal to save the day and figure out the obvious.
A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
When Lemony Snicket wrote his famous series about fifteen years ago or so, it was original. It was silly and unbelievable. All the adults were idiots or evil and the narrator stepped in every few seconds so you remembered he was there.
I liked it when I read it as a teenager. But fast forward and I no longer find such stories amusing. I don't mind if the narrator has a strong voice but I do mind the constant jokes jammed in stories, movies and television shows.
And when every other character besides the main ones are idiots or stupid, it's bad writing. In order for your characters to be likable and to succeed, every other character displayed shouldn't have to be an imbecile.
This story is set up into small chapters, and each chapter has it's own unfortunate event. It's easy to read, and perhaps children will like it because they can consume a chapter and stop, but still feel like they accomplished something.
WARNING: MY BIASES AGAINST PARODIES
I have to making a warning: I don't like parodies. I don't mind making fun of things but it's been done so many times over the decades and I think you really have to be clever to make it work. Think Monty Python or Mel Brooks.
I don't mind subversion if it's done well, it's just not usually done well. It's a gimmick that usually falls flat because a gimmick is all it is.
CHARACTERS
As I mentioned earlier, most of the characters are evil or stupid. It's hard to forget you are reading a children's book because of this. I think perhaps these kind of stories are for a certain age only, and once you go past it, you can't enjoy the book ever again. Some stories are like that. But I think the best stories, even the ones aimed at children or young adults, are books you can read at any age and still enjoy.
HANSEL GOES FERAL-SPOILERS
Hansel and Gretal find a place to live called Lebenwald, the Wood of Life. They are told by some nature spirit not to upset the balance. But Hansel does for some unknown reason. He decides he likes killing animals. This makes him go crazy and Gretal doesn't see him much after that.
He lives alone in the woods because eating berries alone couldn't sustain him. Yeah it doesn't much make sense, he goes crazy and we don't really know why. Whatever the reason, the twins end up separated and Hansel is killed (but not really).
THE CHARMING KILLER-SPOILERS
Gretal meets a young man who is handsome and charming. He invites her to come to his place, alone out in the woods. Gretal's new foster mother won't have it and says its too dangerous but she breaks the rules and sneaks out.
Turns out that this man is a murderer. It's creepy and eerie but the strange part is that is comes across kind of gross. No sexual acts are mentioned but the young man is clearly only targeting woman and girls. And Gretal is a preteen so he is a child predator.
Any adult or young man who wants to spend time alone with a young girl is strange but the villagers are too stupid to realize what's going on. Even though multiple girls have gone missing and he lives out in the middle of nowhere, is not married and keeps flirting with young girls.
So why is it okay to joke about murder but not this? Because most kids will be taught at a young age about murder and death by their parents. They will be told not to talk to strangers or to go off with them. But they won't be told all of the details as to why, just that it is dangerous.
Kids and adults can laugh about the antics in the book because they know it's insane. Meeting the devil is a joke. Cutting your head off and coming back to life is silly. But this one story felt off to me.
HANSEL RETURNS
The story loves to feature gruesome crazy things, perhaps trying to harken back to Goosebumps. Hansel ends up being revealed as not dead (big surprise) and alive inside of a beast. I guess the beast ate him whole. It was silly but I didn't mind.
THE DEVIL DID IT
Hansel eventually meets the Devil after being lost in a card game by his new foster-parent. The story has been silly all the way through but I found meeting the devil slightly more silly.
It's my own personal preference but I have an aversion to meeting Satan, God or angels in most stories, whether they be for adults or children. It's just so hard to write without coming across as cheesy and confirming the author's views on religion.
Hansel eventually escapes by imitating Satan's grandmother (or mother, I don't remember) because Satan has bad eyesight. Yeah, I told you it was a bad idea to have Satan in a story.
PARENTS AND REDEMPTION-SPOILERS
Hansel and Gretal finally go back home but when they talk to their parents, they avoid having to forgive their parents. Instead they focus on the problem the kingdom is going through.
I didn't mind that, it would make sense for them to struggle with it. But this isn't addressed later on. Instead the parents admit they are hopeless and stupid and hand over the throne to their kids.
No, that's really how it ends. Since Hansel and Gretal are good and have traveled around the country, that means they can run a country better.
CLIMAX
Hansel and Gretal are reunited, return home and meet their parents. There they learn about a dragon that has been attacking the kingdom. They put a plan in motion to kill it because their parents are too dumb to think of anything. After a few failed attempts and many deaths, they find out the truth about the dragon.
CONCLUSION
The story is silly and constantly sarcastic. But younger kids could like it, especially boys (I think girls may find it stupid more so than amusing).
The break down of each chapter as a single story is easy reading for children who struggle with short attention spans.
Both children have to go through brutal events, like witnessing people being killed. And this is emphasized to amuse children, like Gretal having to cut off her own finger to open a door, or Hansel hunting down and killing animals like a wolf.
Although I think some of the messages of the book are devious. All parents are not evil and stupid and children should not be the ones teaching their parents. If abuse happens they should reach out to an adult they trust (unfortunately their aren't any in this story).
Also the one story about the killer of woman comes across as inappropriate for kids. I am surprised it wasn't scrapped or rewritten to have less sexual undertones.
I may be harsh, but I can't recommend this book to anyone because of these elements. I can't excuse it by saying the author was just joking. I give the story one and half stars. Because some parts were interesting.
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